Love: Teenage dreams vs. adult expectations
A great thing about being an adult is that you become more stable when it comes to love and expectations. I'm now in my late twenties and these are the things that definitely changed since I was a teenager:1 I won't be in love with someone and not tell them: I remember being a teen and having this 2 years long crush on a class mate. When I finally had the courage to profess my feelings to her, she rejected me. That was painful and threw me even further back. I had some other crushes after that, but I was too much of a chicken to let another girl know how I feel. That changed soon as I became a twen and met my first love. Now, being almost 30, I take the risk quickly. If I like someone, I hint first and if she's responsive, I tell her that I like her. If she also likes me - great. If not - also fine. No big tragedy. In my teen years: A big tragedy!
2 I'm more confident about myself and the way I look: I remember that as a teen I always felt ugly. Well, who hasn't felt that way as a teen, right? It's like the no 1 issue when you're a teen. Seems like as teens we were constantly insecure: One pimple appeared and the whole day was spoilt. One person was spreading a rumour or bitching about you behind your back and you wanted to kill yourself. Yep! Teen years were tough. I can proudly say that I am a happy vet: My wars with my insecurities are over. I do deem myself as somewhere in the middle, though. I'd not say I look like a male model from a Paris fashion show [*I may qualify for the Pasir Ris fashion show, though, hehe], but I wouldn't say I was ugly either. I feel I'm somewhere in between, but I learned to play my charms. I realized that the older you get, the looks become less and less important. Now I feel, if looks are your only asset and you have nothing else, it's just not enough [when I was a teen, it was!]. Now I think a person's character is what makes a person, really. I soooo admire beautiful women (as you may have noticed from my blog), but I always see more than what meets the mere eye. I always imagine that they are kind and polite, lovely, passionate, pure, funny and much more, depends on the photography, the setting and the mood. I like to project my own emotions in them, but I know that I may be wrong. But when it comes to art, there's no right or wrong.... right?
3 I have reasonable expectations for a long term relationship: I admitted many times - I'm a hopeless romantic. Nevertheless, I'm reasonable. I know that, if you want to be with someone long long time, the romantic feelings are not enough. I do enjoy the initial phase of being in love, but that only lasts few months, if you're lucky, maybe a year. But for 5, 10, 20 years or longer, you need to have something more than just a sexual attraction and irrational projections. I try to love the person for who they are, focusing on the character more than the looks. Of course, I can give tons of compliments to the girl I like by telling her she's cute, sexy, gorgeous. Because, frankly, that's how I see her [and the best is, if she has both]. But to seriously consider a woman as my lifetime partner, I focus more on her character. I would want to know stuff like: Are you adaptable and flexible? Are you kind? Are you deep and considerate? What are your interests, passions? Do you cherish family? What are your goals in life? Are you loving and loyal and do you keep your promises? Are you humble and appreciative? If her answers match my expectations, then I will definitely be willing to do a lot to be with her. I'm not expecting a perfect woman, far from that. But after my 3 previous serious relationships didn't work out, I'm just more careful and I guess I've matured. At least I hope so.
How about you? What are your expectations?
How did you change since your teen years?
[Links: Also check Shingo's post on the same topic][Photo modified by me: Source]
