Precious bit
The most precious thought
lost in her luscious lips,
my tears fall - drought
on her finger tips.
She deserts me, at last,
precious bit - gone too fast.
by me
[Photo: Source]
Thursday, September 3, 2009
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27 KAFKAESQUE COMMENTS:
Simply delightful.
It is minimalist,
It says everything.
September 3, 2009 9:31 PM
@ZACL: Thanks ;-) I tried my best, hehe.
September 3, 2009 9:36 PM
thats ur ex? she's pretty :)
September 3, 2009 11:12 PM
@J E SS I C A . T: Noooo... She's not my ex. This is a Korean model Han Chae-i. But yes, my ex is pretty. But I wouldn't put her pic here :)
September 3, 2009 11:13 PM
Is that your girlfriend?
Anyway nice poem!:)
September 3, 2009 11:16 PM
@Andhari: No, I'm single for few months now :( This photo just fits in the mood of my poem. Thanks for your compliment :)
September 3, 2009 11:18 PM
Is this poem dedicated to your ex gf?
September 4, 2009 3:02 AM
@rinaz: It's interesting how you guys brought in my ex ^^ Hehe... no, she wasn't on my mind... which is good. I just saw that photo and was inspired. It's totally not autobiographical :P Thanks for asking :)
September 4, 2009 3:12 AM
your style of poetry is intriguing!
short and sweet yet meaningful :)
i like it!
lovely read!
p.s. do chk out
http://stories.writeupcafe.com/2009/09/i-won-bet.html
it is my short story attempt!
September 4, 2009 3:18 AM
Beautiful words. Great job, Nino!
September 4, 2009 3:45 AM
@Americanising Desi: Thanks. Yes, short is sometimes better than long when it comes to poems.
@Rica: Thankeeewwww Rica! :D
September 4, 2009 4:06 AM
Good poem, then I want to send a poem back to you, too.
The most treasurable feelings
find by his lyrical thoughts
her heart beat - heat
soundlessly in her breast
He warms her, at least,
treasurable bit - seal in last.
A copy of your lovely poem. :-)
September 4, 2009 9:58 AM
@LilyChen: Hahaha, Lily! That's like overhauling or recycling my poem :P Good job. Made me smile in the morning :)
September 4, 2009 3:13 PM
Lovely words. And nice pic too.
September 4, 2009 11:18 PM
@Marie: Thank you! :D
September 5, 2009 12:01 AM
excellent, i like it and the picture is pretty dreamy!
September 5, 2009 12:52 AM
@adamatixx: Thanks! It's an honor to get a compliment from the master of English language :)
September 5, 2009 1:02 AM
Nice.
Very nice.
September 5, 2009 11:15 AM
@Tricia: Thanks :)
September 5, 2009 4:29 PM
Thanks for ur incisive comment.I'll respond to it soon.But where is ur poem?N where is the place i left my comment?I can't seem to find it!Would u mind leaving behind the URL on my blog now?
September 5, 2009 6:58 PM
@Deeptesh: You posted under the poem. My poem is short and I moderate comments. Hence your confusion :)
September 5, 2009 7:04 PM
Well written indeed! He he...I did read your poem when I came for the first time!This one's a bit Hellenic which is why I luv it.But there's an uncomfortable metrical jerk when u use the dashes!Still, few words created a great impact!
September 5, 2009 7:31 PM
@Deeptesh: Thank you. I will keep your thoughts in mind.
September 5, 2009 10:39 PM
i do like it. the shortness of course goes along with the subject matter.. which is always a great poetic tool/technique :D
September 6, 2009 1:22 AM
@floreta: Thanks! ;) I think a short poem with a single point is always great. I guess I'm not so good to write longer ones like you, since English is not my native language :)
September 6, 2009 2:49 AM
why dont you put up the pic of your real ex?
anyway, sorry to hear about your loss.
September 8, 2009 12:04 AM
@zewt: Thanks. But I don't put pics of my ex or me for that matter on my blog. I think it would be disrespectful. But if she gave me permittion, I wouldn't do it, too. The past is past. And the poem has nothing to do with her :)
September 8, 2009 1:33 AM
Post a Kafkaesque comment!