Is it fate when two fall in love?
It's probably one of those questions that can't really be answered, but I'll ask it anyway: Is it fate when two people fall in love? It happens so many times that two people meet, talk, get to know each other. They develop feelings, fall in love and eventually come together, even marry. A classic love story. And then you look back with your partner and you think: It must have been fate how we met and fell in love. This assumption may be right or wrong.
Here's how I see it. Either you see fate in every little thing that happens to you or you see fate only in big things in life. Or you see everything as a mere coincidence. Anything's possible, depends on your perception of reality. But let's focus on fate.
Let's say you see fate in every little thing that happens in your life. Then you're the kind of person that sees signs and deep meanings in things that may be just ordinary to others. I think such understanding of reality can be defendable, if you don't go into extremes and read to much into insignificant things. But then again, what is insignificant? It's a fairly subjective matter and it's debatable as well.
On the other hand, there's people who see fate in big things in life. Those would be occasions where someone's life was instantly changed - like an unexpected death, accidents, sickness, winning the lottery... and most likely in this group as well: Finding the love of your life.
And then we have to clarify: What is the love of one's life? We all have different criteria for that. Some people live for the moment, change partners like it's the most natural thing. They can have multiple relationships, marriages, affairs, flings and still feel good about themselves. That's totally legitimate - to each his own.
I (on the other hand) am just not that kind of man. I always get attached to the woman I love, that's why I'm looking for something long and lasting. I know this romatic concept seems to be outdated these days, but as I said many times: I am a hopeless romantic. I still hope, wish, anticipate that one woman who would be with me for a long long time or as we usually say in a poetic way: Forever!
But you can never know. Life has so many unexpected twists and turns. Who knows, if I will have these romantic expectations in 10, 20 or 30 years. But I need to live thru to that age, I need to find what I am looking for now, at this point of my life. You can't jump over to the next step. You will likely trip and fall.
But if one day when I'm old and if I happen to be married for a long long time, I will put my scepticism aside and I'll say to my wife: You know, when we fell in love and married so many decades ago, it must have been fate that brought us together. Now I know it. Because you are the love of my life, you made me happy like nobody else, you completed me and you lasted with me almost all my life. That's where I do believe in the concept of fate.
How about you?
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25 KAFKAESQUE COMMENTS:
My first thought was 'define fate'. My next was, 'easier said than done, when defining anything so personal, so subjective'. Dictionary definitions just will not ever be enough for 'fate'.
I guess fate for me is not just events, though they themselves can be fascinating, fate is also about the emotions and feelings it creates. They are not always lovely.
Being born is my first big fate experience, then growing in the family environment and in the country of my birth.
Fate is such a big topic, so what about love, partnerships and life? Even if they don't work out as you would hope for, that too, is fate, a life experience. You eventually select in what you would like to remember, and try to select out what you find uncomfortable.
In my package therefore, fate is all pervasive and all encompassing. Your question cannot be fully answered, at least I can't complete it. :)
September 26, 2009 6:07 AM
@ZACL: Yea, it's not easy to talk about topics like that, I didn't want to be too long and too particular. I know that the definitions are very vague. Just threw out some points and want to see what people think.
You have excellent points. All I'm trying to say is that in the end, when someone's life is over or nearly over, we can analyize better wheather an event had impact on our lives or not or how big that impact was. Many times I think that our lives are just random, meaningless. But if I am optimistic, I think that there is some meaning to it. And a very important one (for me personally) would be long lasting love relationship, sharing the life with someone as long as possible. I hope that at least that is predestined, so i have some hope to live on and see some meaning in the life I am living :)
September 26, 2009 6:16 AM
i don't believe in FATE...more like i don't want to believe in it
i hate thinking that everything is already determined for me...that i cant CHANGE anything that's already been made up...then i see no point of trying
September 26, 2009 8:56 AM
It's so easy to just throw everything that happens to 'FATE'. In my Chinese culture, we are brought up to think that everything is 'FATED' or predestined. I REFUSED to believe it is so especially since I am a staunch believer of the Law of Attraction.
Who says we cannot change our destiny? The wheel of our life is within our countrol. It's just how clear you are of what you want and how much you desire it.
Throw in a genuine appreciate of your life's trials and tribulations, looking at them in a positive angle, learn from the mistakes and remove your doubts (negatives vibes), I'm sure you will experience progress towards the direction of what you expect your life to be.
I don't want to sound preachy but it WORKS for me so far.
September 26, 2009 10:46 AM
I'm not one who believes in fate. Because if I do, it means I can't control my destiny.
I fight for every inch for what I want and belive in.
September 26, 2009 11:15 AM
since you are looking for long and lasting relationship... let it come slowly.
eh... love is a push of fate in the right direction... ;)
September 26, 2009 11:41 AM
yes i believe it's fate when 2 people fall in love, but i always believe one can make his/her own fate :)
September 26, 2009 12:25 PM
See I believe everything is basically destined for us, I'm a believer of fate. But I'm sure our fate really depends on what we do, and how hard we try for something. Especially when I love a guy, I'll try my best to make him happy and make it work :)
September 26, 2009 1:21 PM
I hope for all the best for you, to me its a combination of luck and fate and also the commitment of the other person soon to be partner.
Sometimes its meant to be, sometimes its not.
But that doesnt mean that one doesnt stop hoping and believeing.
September 26, 2009 3:49 PM
@Wenny: Well, I also think we have the power to change some things, but then what if that's also part of fate, of a greater plan for your life? I just think once you're old, you look back and see that your life went a certain way. Just one way. YOu don't have the power to go back in time and change your path. There's just 1 path in oyur life and I think that's someone's fate.
September 26, 2009 5:48 PM
@Shingo T: I like your attitude, it means you don't give in easily, you always give your best. That's great.
@zewt 先生: Thank you for your kind words, I will keep that in mind. I think it goes slowly indeed :-)
@Sharon: So I guess love for you is something very special in life? Maybe it's true what you say in a sense that 2 people coming together is harder than 1 person walking their path thru life.
@Andhari: So fate is a frame for our life, but inside the frame it's us who have to do things to make us happy. I think your man will be a lucky guy ;)
@rinaz: Good points. I just think when you're young and with someone, you never know. But when you're old and you can reflect on your life, you will know your life's destiny.
September 26, 2009 5:56 PM
i'm pleased that there are still some hopeless romantics out there!
i didn't meet the love of my life until i was 35 and often wish we'd met when we were much younger but the important thing is that something brought us together eventually...if it was fate, then thank-you fate!
September 26, 2009 7:09 PM
@adamatixx: Hehe, I really like your comment. Maybe it's not important when you meet, but that you meet at all. You give me hope that I may find my soulmate :-)
September 26, 2009 7:55 PM
i'm tired fallin love again
just playing my dreams
...
September 26, 2009 8:15 PM
@Seiri Sekeguchi: Love will find you again when you expect the least :-)
September 26, 2009 8:35 PM
It's pheromones.
September 26, 2009 11:02 PM
@The Envoy: Hehehe... I was thinking about something biological, too. Who knows. But what if you meet someone online on the other side of the world? You can't smell them :)
September 27, 2009 2:12 AM
i don't know. i think i'm halfway between hopeless romantic and cynic. the problem i have with romanticism is the idea that the other person completes you. because that's not it, at all.
September 27, 2009 4:21 AM
@floreta: I think when you fall in love, you'll lean toward hopeless romantic :-)
September 27, 2009 5:23 AM
i like to believe in fate, but the sort of fate that's tangible, like some things are just meant to be but you can still make your own fate. does that make any sense?lol
p.s. thanks for dropping by my blog
p.p.s have a lovely sunday ^^
September 27, 2009 4:32 PM
@Manju: I think this issue is so complex, so that either anything makes sense or nothing :) Thanks for your comment, hope to see you around more :)
September 27, 2009 5:43 PM
For me, 10% is fate, 90% is effort to make anything work, including love. Relationship is a complicated thing to build so fate itself won't be enough to make it succeed.
But for the first time meeting before the whole relationship started, I do think it's fate, though. I believe in past lives, and everyone that we met today might have something to do with us in the lives before this one. ^^v
Anyways, I also think it's fate when I met you, bro! ;)
September 28, 2009 12:34 AM
@Selvy: Yes, I agree. But you know, when you're honest and try your best, you only need to meet that special someone. Some people are meant to be, that's how it feels sometimes.
Aww, so sweet. Yes, I think it's fate we met, lil sis :-)
September 28, 2009 12:41 AM
Hmm..very tricky indeed. I am a romantic and I wanna believe in fate. But I also believe in determinism and that I control what happens to my life. It's just that fate takes such a long time. I would rather go out there and look for that person, make many mistakes if that is how I will meet the one, but ultimately, love is a decision. Fate has no hand in it. We decide on our own fate.
September 28, 2009 9:11 PM
@The Demigoddess: You made great points and the way I know you, your character, it all seems to fit in well. I think we all make mistakes, depends only how many and how big.
September 28, 2009 10:34 PM
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