About Facebook friends and their babies
*Disclaimer: I wrote this post in a cynical and sarcastic way, inspired by Seinfeld's nihilism and seasoned with my recent bitterness. Keep that in mind.
I recently added many old schoolmates on my Facebook. There were so many requesting to be my 'friend', I just couldn't continue ignoring them. So I created another account just for them. First of all, why do so many people I was never close with, want to follow my daily life, rummage thru my photos, be my 'friends'? Didn't they get the hunch by me virtually ignoring them in real life for almost a decade? I'm not gonna update anything on my second account but just upload photos from my travels and let them wonder. Yes, that's how I roll, hehe. I still have my old (main) account where I only add people who I feel comfortable with. And guess what, most of them are from all over the world. Yes, in this phase of my life, I only befriend like-minded people and not those who just happen to live in the same town like me. And some people from here, who happen to be my friends, don't use Facebook (weird). But thanks to the internet, I can have 2 identities and nobody can do anything about it. Yes, I am very selective.
I recently added many old schoolmates on my Facebook. There were so many requesting to be my 'friend', I just couldn't continue ignoring them. So I created another account just for them. First of all, why do so many people I was never close with, want to follow my daily life, rummage thru my photos, be my 'friends'? Didn't they get the hunch by me virtually ignoring them in real life for almost a decade? I'm not gonna update anything on my second account but just upload photos from my travels and let them wonder. Yes, that's how I roll, hehe. I still have my old (main) account where I only add people who I feel comfortable with. And guess what, most of them are from all over the world. Yes, in this phase of my life, I only befriend like-minded people and not those who just happen to live in the same town like me. And some people from here, who happen to be my friends, don't use Facebook (weird). But thanks to the internet, I can have 2 identities and nobody can do anything about it. Yes, I am very selective.
Well, what actually made me write this post, was the fact that so many of my old schoolmates have babies and they post pics of them on Facebook. I mean, why would they do this? Why? First of all, I would never put a photo of my (future) baby online. I mean, what will these 'babies' say in 20 years? Do we have to document someone's life online since their birth? What happened to the old classic phot album? They are humans and not objects and since they're incapable to tell wheather they want to be exposed online or not, I would never put their photos online. Secondly, every baby looks the same. So what's the point to let others see a baby? Can't you just write 'I have a baby, it's healthy and it looks like any other baby' on your wall and get on with your life? Wouldn't that be enough?
I mean, where is the time when people, if they really wanted to see your baby, came to your home? Is this so 20th century? [*Am I too sentimental?]
I mean something like that on the clip below, from Seinfeld:
I feel like some people post the pics of their babies like trophies, like Look at me, I am not yet 30 and I have a baby! I accomplished something! I am mainstream. Are you? Well, I am not. I could be easily, but since I was always a skilled master of *cough... I mean, I was always careful, so I just happen not to be. Which can be an accomplishment far bigger than the opposite. Then again, what is mainstream these days anyway? Men in twenties 'having babies' seem to become rare recently. So maybe I am mainstream.
I really don't know... maybe I'm bitter now, but once I have a baby myself, I will be like them: An overly excited parent-freshman, who will post hunderds of photos of his newborn and prouldy tweet: My baby made his first poop. #proudparent #baby #random and then soon after post another tweet: Please follow @littleMKL #FF. Hehe, who knows. We'll see in few years ;-)
Now, what do you think? Baby photos online, pro or contra and why?
Not being a parent in the twenties, pro or contra and why?
27 KAFKAESQUE COMMENTS:
I hate girls who focus to much on having a baby. Yeah, they're cute but they're not exactly easy to handle.
I understand posting pics on FB though, because of course, you would want to update friends who aren't in the same country as you are. (Finding email addresses suck, for me anyway.)
But yeah. Babies? Cute. For me? Of course. Now? NO WAY. :P
September 7, 2009 4:49 AM
@Rica: Well, I still prefer the oldfashioned way to send some pics via email to those who request to see the baby.
But yes, you are right, FB is convenient for those who have friends and family from all over the world, especially for Filipinos that is the case. For my country, Slovenia, that is so not the case. Most of people and their friends live very near by. That was also on my mind when I wrote the post :)
You're still young, Rica. You don't need to worry about a baby :)
September 7, 2009 5:00 AM
You're so spot on, right now I have so many friends parading babies and husbands and facebook and I was like "helooooo what happen to fabulous satc life we can lead on? Why throwin it away for diapers and stinky pants?"
But well, I think I will upload the pics of my future babies in facebook. Although maybe not as crazy as people can be. Babies or not my blog will have to be badass. My babies will have to be badass too..
Anyway I'm picturing myself as a new mom now. Freaky but if I delete the portrays of lame moms in their lazy clothes, and wear fabulous booties, mini dress and fancy jacket as I hold my baby all wrapped up in couture items for babies..that'd be super sexy! Think milf..
Ok too much. But my future hubby might be a one happy dude just sayin :p
September 7, 2009 5:14 AM
First of all, why do so many people I was never close with, want to follow my daily life, rummage thru my photos, be my 'friends'
MY SENTIMENTS EXACTLY.
nosy ppl. heck, just hit the ignore button or mebbe set a limited profile for them? i do that n it works 2ward off unwanted busybodies :)
September 7, 2009 5:18 AM
@Andhari: LOL, your comment really cracked me up :P So you gonna be one badass MILF then, hehe. Ok, for what you announced here, I will make and exception and check your badass baby pics, hehe. Now I really wonder what will happen to those small cute Andharis, hehe.
September 7, 2009 5:18 AM
@J E SS I C A . T: Yes, my account was always restricted, but the requests piled up, so I created the new account. In case I meet these people in town, they can't say I didn't add them :P
September 7, 2009 5:23 AM
I think you would have these thoughts just because you don't have babies now, as I know, although babies almost look all the same, but parents always think their baby is the most special. So, they tend to share their baby's photos enthusiastically, even upload to the internet in order to share them to more people and let others know”: See! My baby is so cute and beautiful than others, he/she is the most beautiful angel in the world."
Therefore, take it easy, it's a good thing to share wonderful things with others, right? :-)
If we feel we are bothered, just ignore it and take it perfunctorily… (must be careful that don't be discovered).
But, I bet that you will also be the excited parents in the few years. So don't delete this article, we would wait and see. hehe.
September 7, 2009 2:07 PM
well i dont quite agree with everything that was being said.
for one, i think fb is great, it connects ppl, even long lost friends. i personally dont mind my colleagues or friends uploading pictures of their babies. it makes me feel like i'm part of their lives, to be able to browse through the albums. yes, i do "stalk" ppl in fb, going through friends' pictures, that i admit, like i said, they may be far away from me but pictures online of their lives are the only connection we have.
A close friend of mine had a baby a year and a half ago, i enjoy watching her baby grows up, even tho we haven't seen each other for a decade. sadly said, we don't really need to talk or see each other face to face when we have things like fb to update us about each others life. of course this is different when it comes to approving strangers stalking your pictures. :)
as for being a parent in my twenties, it depends, not before 25 but ok after 25, depending if i have met Mr Right who I'm ready to settle down with. but as of now, there are so many things i want to do in life, i'm just not yet ready to be a parent. heck, i can't even take care of myself :P so yea, i just don't see myself handling baby poo right now... haha
September 7, 2009 4:14 PM
@LilyChen: Lily, seems like you know me very well ^^ I guess it's a whole different thing when the baby is yours. Nevertheless, I am a private person and will only share with few people I really feel comfortable with.
@Sharon: I'm glad you don't agree, that was also one of my points: To read various opinions and I guess you people make me less cynical :) I didn't mean that going thru pics is bad, since I am infamous of doing that :P I just don't like these people with whom I lost touch, to do it. I feel more comfortable with people like you, whom I've known recently, but I know you're sincere and there's no dangers of gossip going around my hometown. People here are very nosy and that's one of the problems for me.
Well, I guess I am just a bit bitter, because I always wanted to have a baby before 30 and all these people have them.. arrghh... well, I need to adjust my plans, 30...35, for a guy there's not a lot difference, right?
Thanks Sharon, you made me more relaxed on this issue :)
September 7, 2009 4:50 PM
well, i seriously don't mind people whom I've lost touch with suddenly started going through my pictures, i mean if they like what they see, they'll come and contact me, else they leave me alone.
i just hate it when new strangers do that u know, friends of friends bla bla, now that's pretty scary.
but then again if you're not comfortable u should definitely not approve them as your friends or just set the privacy of your photo albums :) no biggie deal ;)
and whats wrong with guys these days? why r so many of u wanting to get settled down before 30? 2 of my close guy friends are like that too! im almost there and yet im not worried! dang! should i be? i think 30-35 is just perfecto!
September 7, 2009 6:41 PM
@Sharon: You're more open than me. You post many pics of you on your blog :) I'm different, more private, so I guess I see these things differently. Yes, I approve only those who I feel comfortable with and it's not many people from my hometown.
What's wrong with guys? Haha.. well, I don't know. It's not easy to find true love these days, a good career, a stable income. Days are tough, everything changes fast. However, I am still a hopeless romantic and hope that my "missis right" will find me :P
September 7, 2009 6:49 PM
Baby photos online: Nice. But 200 pieces in the same outfit and background plus 50 over albums afterwards, headache for sure. I love it when I look through booklet photo albums with black and white, glossy and matte papers, it feels nice when I feel the surface of my fingers, but geez, nowadays it's very expensive and more difficult to find places that print out photos in my area >.<
Being a parent in the twenties: Mentally cons, for myself, I won't be ready to handle the our responsibility yet. Physically Pros, some more when you're ladies, your body just so elastic that it stretched back to where it belongs to before the cute bundle of joy came :P
September 8, 2009 1:34 AM
@Selvy: You really cracked me up, girl :) Especially your last sentence is a comment-masterpiece :D
Thanks a lot for this :)
September 8, 2009 1:38 AM
Whatever your emotions were when you started the post, you must remember, you make some very important points.
I agree wholeheartedly with you, that children are not objects for their parents to do with as they wish, they are people, and they will become individuals in their own right. We do not have the right to take their privacy and their childhood away from them. We do not have the right to give those elements to anyone. As parents, we do have the right to care for and protect our children, nurture them into becoming adults, At which point they can choose how they want to run their lives.
Like Selvy says, who wants to see hundreds of little ones in the same baby outfits. The outfits can look the same, but babies, though they may seem the same, they are not.
I, too, have a facebook account, not the same i.d. as here. It has limited but specific use for me and it serves its purpose very well. That's the way it will stay.
September 8, 2009 5:33 AM
@ZACL: Interesting points. I think some just overexpose those babies, I would definitely keep in mind the child's privacy, because you never know where these pics might end up one day. And I do wonder about the overexposure on Facebook or internet in general. I want to be as private as possible, limit my cirle of friends and the amount of my private pics. But hey, if adults are fine with posting tons of pics of themselves, that's fine to me. Just when it comes to babies, there has to be a caution.
September 8, 2009 5:39 AM
i like the way you think. facebook seems so depressing to me so i try not to peruse tooo much. because there are a lot of classmates with babies and to me it is DEPRESSING. but i hate anything status quo.
September 8, 2009 6:43 AM
@floreta: I totally feel you on this one. Sometimes I am on FB a lot, sometimes not at all. I don't play games there, so what is there to do? Yea, I also don't like status quo... I want things to keep changing.
September 8, 2009 7:11 AM
LOL @ coitus interruptus.
I am in the same boat. Very recently, my guy bestfriend had his baby and posted millions of baby pictures on his profile. I guess we post the pictures that make us feel good about ourselves. Babies make parents feel good about themselves so just about every new parent has to have pictures of their babies posted online. In this new age and generation, baby pics on FB is an important rite of passage for parents and parents who don't post baby pics seem like they aren't proud of their baby.
If I had a baby, I would post pictures of her online. I would not tweet about her, though. That is just overkill.
September 9, 2009 1:39 PM
This facebook thing is really strange.
I uploaded 1 single photo on facebook, however my photogallery features a whole bunch of photos about me.
And then there are these stupid applications like: find out which is your favorite holiday destination / music / toilet paper. I mean, if I really want to find out I would go for it, but at the moment I'm just not interested in the answers of these questions.
I've come close to the point where I want to delete my facebook account.
September 9, 2009 3:33 PM
@The Demigoddess: I didn't know baby photos on Facebook are already a rite, hehe. But I get your point. It's a different perspective when you have your own baby.
@Junjie: You have many pictures of yourself, if people tag you. I don't like the games and the tests, in my opinion, it makes FB childish. The idea was to share info about yourself with friends, it became a site full of meaningless things.
September 9, 2009 3:41 PM
I just wrote a post about facebook myself. We must be connecting again ;) I have to agree with everything you've said -- except -- I don't have a facebook for others. I have one for family. That's it. Just one. Mom made me do it so she can keep up with me, but the rest of my family annoys me there so much that I don't use it.
Love the Seinfeld Dingo ate your baby! Funny!
We'll talk soon.
T
September 9, 2009 5:27 PM
@Tricia: I think we do connect, hehe. Looking forward to read your post :) I think everybody uses Facebook in a different way. Sometimes I wish the dingo ate some of these people, hehe.
September 9, 2009 5:34 PM
I love Seinfeldt!!! And about old friends adding you I think it depends. If it was someone you were really close to in your childhood I think it's fun tosee where and how they ended up. If it's just some random person, then I agree with you :)
September 12, 2009 7:47 AM
I guess one reason why people post a lot of pictures in FB or in any social networking sites is that it feels good when people gives you compliment. I used to do that in a long run it's a tiring a pointless way to please people. I don't have a baby...yet but when the time comes I sure still do the old fashion way by scrap booking. I sure don't want to share my family to the rest of the world, a few friends maybe but definitely not to the rest of the world. That's why I still prefer email over this social networking sites.
BTW, I hate it to break it to you but I didn't write "What Women Don't Understand With Guys." I just got it from an old CD of mine. I do not know who wrote that piece but I'll send your compliments once I get to know the author.
Thanks for visiting my site. Nice blog btw.
September 12, 2009 11:17 AM
@E: I totally feel you on this. Yea, people want compliments, but a baby is a human being, too. So you have to walk a fine line not to overdo it by overexposing the baby. Scrap books rock :)
September 12, 2009 4:58 PM
lol
IF I ever have a bay, and that's a big IF, I will totally update my facebook with that status! I almost want to have one just so I could do that - that's hillarious.
February 1, 2012 9:16 AM
@Karoline: Haha.. that's awesome!
April 1, 2012 12:31 PM
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